Week 5: Serenity, Courage, Wisdom

    I remember the first time I used the serenity prayer (or at least referenced it) on social media. Couldn't find the post but I spelled wisdom "wisedom" and my loving older sister was the absolute first person to let me know that I spelled it wrong. This was before the edit function and I didn't feel like deleting the post to write a new one so I just rolled with it. I had no clue at the time how important the serenity prayer would become to me. I'm a smart guy: not to be a braggadocio or anything but I'm pretty good at applying knowledge and logic to a situation and, aided by past experience, come up with solutions to problems. My flaw is putting those solutions into action, in that I don't. I'm the annoying guy in the corner saying "yo that's fucked up, here is how we can fix it" then applying 0.0 lbs of effort into solving the problem.

    07FEB21, 31MAY22, and 26JAN24. IYKYK, if you don't you won't. There is a stark difference between knowing solutions and the difference between right and wrong, and applying the courage to actually follow through on what you should. That is the hard part. Struggling with sloth, gluttony, addiction, pride: all are made 10x worse when coupled with inaction. Because not only are you in a rough place, you know what you ought to do to make it better and that knowledge eats away at you until there is nothing left. Rock bottom, the end of the rope, unadulterated misery. Some can't take the first step on the road to right without help and that is where I found myself on those days. If you find yourself in that pit of despair, I urge you to turn on "You're Not Alone" by Saosin. Trust me, it hurts in the good way. I've found that in times of dire need it breaks through my "impenetrable" walls to remind me that I've got myriad good-hearted people that will help me if I ask, whether my pride wants them to or not. Turns out, if you don't have the courage to change the things that you can, you can surround yourself with some courageous people to help achieve the requisite amount. It takes a tribe or something, who knew.

    Starting a four week lifting program with Nate and Alex today and a running program tomorrow. I cooked yesterday for the first time in a long time and it felt really really good, almost like I'm breaking through this fog and finding the version of me that I liked some amount of moons ago. Taking everything this year one day at a time to give my mind a break (which I desperately needed) and apply my effort in more efficient ways. Ron Swanson once said, "never half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing." Next few weeks will have more numbers in there as far as weight, body comp, maxes, and run time goes: January just happened to whoop my ass from here to Sunday so I'm essentially starting over...again...restarting over. It sucks, but a journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step and I have the courage to change the things I can.

#NFCWFH / #IGY6 / 988

We're not aloneThere is more to this, I knowYou can make it outYou will live to tell

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