Week 20: and we’re back

I desperately needed this week. The past month of weeks have just been fast paced turmoil and stress bombs that took me out of my routine and opened the door for some serious negativity. I’m talking, i let shit that i know doesn’t or shouldn’t bug me absolutely ruin my day. Sucks, especially when I know better…that inner fight between emotion and logic is real and it’s ass. Real ass. No bueno.

But we are back baby. Back in the gym, back to meal prepping, back to a proper bed time and back to getting after this whole self-improvement thing. Well, kinda. Ok so during that big work project i was running my stress eroded the cognitive coping skills I’ve been learning and let the self-doubt, anger, irritation, and all manner of negative thoughts spiral and burn out of control. It was acceptable then because I knew what was going on, I knew i was in a compromised mental/emotional state and everything would seem more manageable on the backside. Yet, here we are on the backside and it’s still happening. Kinda hoping this whole thing is just an emotional hangover that’ll subside as I get further back into my routines and build up that tolerance to the bullshit. Identifying why something is dragging you down is a good thing…but it’s still dragging and fuckin sucks. So i don’t know really, more to follow I guess. I’m hoping next week I’ve got more positive progress to report but right now I’m just somewhere between grinding my teeth and praying someone initiates a road rage incident with me.

Lifting is finally back to normal, spending more time in the home gym than in public just due to time constraints but it has its ups. Mainly, the dogs come give me lovins and attention in between sets. Everyone loves that. Made a protein creamy chicken pasta for meal prep and it’s straight delicious. I’m beginning to wonder if i should start prepping double batches for lunch and dinner…would need more containers for that. Eh.

So yeah i mean 20 weeks down, six to go before the halfway mark of this year. I’m realizing now that I never really set any goals as part of this initiative, just to do and be and feel better. I’ve got the routine down so maybe I should pen those down to actually work towards something tangible. Weight? Body fat? Run time? Gonna have to go to the drawing board to lock those in so stay tuned I guess. Look, this shit ain’t easy (and by shit I mean life) but we all seem to be doing a bang up job and doing our best so keep that fuckin shit up kings and queens.

NFCWFH / IGY6 / 988 / SCW / 114

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