Road to Right: Justin’s accountability tour

 So yeah sometimes shit doesn’t turn out the way you want. Last month I saw a decline in my body comp for the first negative month of this journey and that kinda sucks. On top of all of that as a person I’ve got an issue with setbacks, failures, upsets, and tragedy. The issue? I don’t fucking deal with them at all. Setting them aside because they are uncomfortable and they hurt is part of the reason I unraveled as a person in January (among a multitude of other things but let’s keep’r movin). Seeings how the accountability piece of this whole thing has kind of run its course as I’ve been pretty diligent with what i should be doing…i figured I’d take this week and walk the dog on how my midlife crisis is a great tool in reinforcing lessons from my counselor. Right so currently up for debate is whether starting BJJ at 32 was a good idea or not. I’ve got a lot of things going against me here: this activity is oft started young so the people my age are leaps and bounds ahead of me and ...

 Not in the finality sense of it all but we survived two weeks while the wife was being in the army. Low key? I really needed that week off: i had been piling up the need-to-do list for a real long time and I was finally able to knock all of that shit out. Lawn? Done. House? Cleaned. Oil? Changed. New uniform? Purchased (begrudgingly). Everything finally felt like i hit the reset button which was a perfect place to be when Liz got home. Working weekends are fine and all but being able to kick my feet up on a Sunday with no concerns or duties still left to do is the necessary relaxation one needs to kick off a week. We are in a good mental place. Good physical place too. This program is chock full of 60+ minute workouts so it’s a grind and a half…plus getting my ass kicked by 13 year olds on the mat is an exercise in patience as much as it is in skill but ultimately we are moving and grooving in the right direction. Oh, and a huge shout out to you folks who take the time out of your...

 Here’s the thing, when you do the right thing often enough it starts coming by second nature and not as a chore. You end up getting the same results with less effort, which If I look back a month or two i was complaining about just how much effort it took to do the right thing across a broad spectrum of endeavors. Oh how the turntables. So in that light last week was pretty dope. Gym, BJJ, my job, the house and dogs, everything else I’m doing…all according to plan. Now i can say that on this side of the week but let me tell ya, i definitely had a slipping scare last week that taught me I’m very very far from perfect and I can’t afford to mail it in. So Friday: i had an appointment in the morning and a meeting over lunch so the gym had to wait until i got home. Work wasn’t too laborious but i did end up staying later than i normally do and something about the day was just screaming weekend…vibes were high. So I get home and park it on the couch to watch some videos or something and...

 It isn’t actually that bad, i just kinda liked the juxtaposition between last week and this weeks entry. I know I’m late, I’d make an excuse but i literally thought about doing this Monday and Tuesday and just didn’t. Official business first this week: back in the gym and back rolling in BJJ after taking last week off due to a business trip to Indy. I’m sore and this new program is a brutal son of a bitch. The business trip was, to be frank, the in person version of an email but it’s necessary and now done. Complaining gets me nowhere. Coming home to an empty house is super depressing and I’m having a hard time getting myself to do what I need to do. But enough about all of that, on to some more introspective stuff. It’s really becoming a beating trying to balance what I want to do and what others want me to do. Well, more so It’s impossible without burning out and losing my mind trying to make everyone happy. Truly, that’s the practice/proclivity that breeds negativity and despai...