Week 26: sour skittles

 I think I’ve been fairly transparent through this endeavor as far as I could without also putting other peoples shit on the front page. My hope is that somebody reading this gets some help or reassurance through their own pursuits of betterment. I love it when y’all celebrate wins with me but it can’t all be rainbows and unicorns. So yeah, we entered a little bit of a sour patch and it’s not fun.

The dynamic at work is shifting, I’ve stopped being a slacking captain and have started becoming a key player in the shop, and I feel pretty dang good about that. Confident, capable, proficient, and smart; I’ve been helping out in a whole lot of areas as a jack of all trades. Yippee. The gym and training and everything is moving along as usual as well. Progress is being made, I’m not having to force myself into the gym, BJJ is improving and I even signed up to compete in a tournament this month. So double yippee.

Here’s where shit turns south, I’m starting the feel this looming depression hole anytime I’m home. I don’t want eat or do meal prep or chores, don’t really want to play video games or read, ideally I’d plop my ass in front of the tv and watch terrible YouTube videos until i can fall asleep and do it all again the next day. It’s kinda shitty being your best self at work and a shell at home; I’d certainly prefer to “work to live” and not “live to work” but that’s how everything is registering up top. Times like these it’s important to not kick your own ass just to double down on an already shitty feeling, but I can’t help but feel like I’m fucking things up by being boo boo faced for ultimately no reason.

Meh, this too shall pass. Just gotta do the next right thing and shit will level out eventually. On a positive note, have this super uplifting positive song that is inundating all of my workouts.

https://youtu.be/83rcK9Xne5A?si=UesfNejHRN8TBu_q

It’s a recurring theme on this thing but seriously, give yourself a break and gas yourself up from time to time. In the coldest loneliest hours of our life, all we truly have is ourselves. Make that relationship a good one and build out from there.

NFCWFH / IGY6 / 988 / SCW / 157

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