Weeks 37 and 38: tattoos, transitions, and reset

 Ok so last week i waited too long again and really got fed up with the tardiness so i said fuck it, start fresh on Monday. And here we are! Honestly it feels like shits been off for a while now and i seemingly could not fall back in to the rhythm that’s gotten me as far as I’ve come. That said, i think this reset is exactly what we needed and im headed into this week ready to do the next right thing and feel damn good about the path. Let’s dive in shall we?

So the fucked up rhythm comes on the tail end of two tattoo sessions in two weeks time. For those not tracking, the healing process means no rolling, very little gym, and a thrown off equilibrium that’s fucked up sleep and overall mood in general. The good thing is we are healed and back in the gyms ahead of squatober and another train up for a BJJ tournament. When? Dunno, maybe November or December but the point is today was back to the grindstone and it felt great. Finally feeling back on the up and up with things.

I spent the vast majority of last week in transition classes discussing spend plans, resumes, big boy jobs, and business casual outfits. Suffice to say I didn’t get shit out of it besides a guaranteed week away from the office…so ya know…at least there was that. Every week that passes is another week closer to a new chapter in life and as much as I want to focus on it, the risk of overwhelming yourself with the future becomes ever more prevalent. It’s times like these where the best thing to do is put the future out of mind and make sure that the daily right things are getting done. Tomorrow will come when it does but today is here now and deserves your attention. Honestly it feels like these checking lately have been super repetitive about that same notion but the more it is repeated the easier it is to follow through on. So yeah, I’m just gonna broken record that mother fucker into my brain until it becomes second nature.

This year has been one huge experiment in turning my shit around and while I’m thankful for the experience, I’m nervous that it could all fall away in the midst of the new chapter. I don’t want that to happen and i know my support structure doesn’t either, but the silent pressure sits on my chest when I lay down at night. Shits low key terrifying when you think about. I did read something the other day that actually relieved some pressure and it’s this: wasted time that was enjoyed was never truly wasted. Sometimes it’s ok to sit on your ass and smell the flowers, or rewatch your comfort show, or eat PBJ tacos because you’re too lazy to actually cook. Not from experience or anything…that would be weird. The point is it becomes easier to follow through on the plan if you take time in between the hard work to appreciate the fruits of your labor and give yourself a day off. Truly, grant yourself some well deserved grace and watch the right thing become easier and easier to keep up with.

NFCWFH / IGY6 / 988 / SCW / 240

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