Week 39: locking in

 Thanks dad. Yeah so obviously it’s Wednesday morning and this wasn’t posted on Monday. I’ll do better, moving on.

I’ve been half adding a lot of things that i know i have the capacity to full ass. I know this because I’ve spent the past 33ish weeks doing them and doing them well. I’ve let myself get distracted by the big things in the future and derail the focus on the now. Well no more. See today is day two of squatober and if you half ass this thing it will eat you alive. Last week was awesome. Getting back in the gym and getting back to rolling really did a number on my patience and mental fortitude while helping me realize I’ve also come a significant way from the beginning. While i didn’t have any grandiose meltdowns for sucking at BJJ, i did feel that all to familiar and ugly feeling of sucking and wanting desperately to quit. It’s such a pivotal feeling too because at any time old me would just cut and run from it because it’s uncomfortable. But living in that shit feeling and learning how to take it in stride has gotten me this far this year, time to chase it.

Lock it in. This road had a lot of bright sunny days where it wasn’t so much tested and I let it turn me to complacency. Contrary to popular belief the right way can be easy, it’s weird to say the right path is always hard because sometimes both paths are just flat borrowing trails. The danger is in those easy patches because you can lose comfort with making the hard rights, you can lose that perishable skill of putting your head down and doing the fucking work even though it sucks. Getting accustomed to the discomfort again is a pain in the ass but a necessary one thrive in this last quarter of the year.

This week is a short one before taking a hiking trip out west but the return and locking in is scheduled and on the horizon. A check in at 5 star, another tournament in BJJ, and squatober and deadcember are what stand in the way between now and the new year. Head down, eyes forward, music up, lock it the fuck in.

NFCWFH / IGY6 / 988 / SCW / 249

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