Week 43: the “lost shit” part of the coaster

 This shit is fucking hard. Look man I’m gonna be honest here i know that frequently this thread reads like a cross behind a self-help book and a massive whiny emo album and today it’s the latter. This shit is hard man. You very rarely appreciate just how unsettling the unknown is, in that when i stopped knowing when my transition will be i started losing my shit at an incredibly rapid clip. You go from having a solid handle on everything negative (inconvenient, unfortunate, undesired, etc) to getting overwhelmed and crying in your car to the greatest showman soundtrack. From a friend’s experience of course, certainly not my ever eroding mental stability. It’s kinda shameful too, especially when you take in to account that I’ve spent 10 fucking months building out the toolkit to better handle myself when life gets lifey. A person that has invested that much time in resilience shouldn’t roid rage out when shits sour. We’re better than that, I’m better than that. But hey fuck it, this week is gonna end just like all weeks and by this time next year I’ll cringe at this entry. Fuck it, we ball.

Stat time: i know i kinda stopped the body comp tracking a couple of months ago and last week we got back into it. So, with minimal check ins and a dedication to working out and rolling that waxed and waned here is how we came out looking. Looking at 179lbs overall with a 22.6% body fat and 78.9lbs of skeletal muscle mass. This is a drop of 4.3lbs, .6% body fat, and 1.6lbs muscle mass. Legit? Surprised as fuck. I thought that all of the metrics would’ve slid in the wrong direction so hearing that I basically stayed the same over 3 months of not measuring is kinda wild. So yay, now metrics outside of the numbers don’t reflect in such a promising manner. My knees fuckin hurt always, my right arm has developed a pinch that keeps me up at night and I’m starting to realize my body’s ability to regulate temps is fucked. Now we’re depressed and old. Let’s ride.

Last week I made my first omelet without breaking the damn thing halfway through and transitioning to scrambled eggs…that’s the biggest win from last week and sometimes you just gotta take what you can get. The shit that often sucks is extra sucky, the good shit is few and far between, and the annoying is registering as apocalyptic. The good thing is that the 15 of you that read this shit are also perpetually riding the “fuck-it-we-ball” wave so party on 🤙🏼🤙🏼🤙🏼

NFCWFH / IGY6 / 988 / SCW / 276

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