Week 50: perspective

One of the problems i face on a week to week basis is how i view this endeavor. Like i started it in a really really bad place, and throughout the year it has served as a place to trauma dump and bitch when things aren’t exactly going my way. True to form it captures both highs and lows but accountability, by nature, isn’t exactly a positive endeavor. But painting this thing in a negative light tends to skew things unfairly when, after all, life is made of lows and highs and this year has not been devoid of blessings at all. Naturally it is easier to see when things are going well, like this past week.

I think I’ve mentioned already but this year I’ve been blessed with going out and seeing, face to face, many people near and dear to me that i haven’t seen in a while and this trip has been no different. I hit the jackpot with my in-laws and my wife’s childhood friends because they are all some really fuckin cool people. Getting the opportunity to spend some quality time with the Ohio crew has been just amazing and it’s a shame it only happens once a year. From glass blowing to game night it’s been a 10/10 trip, even if Liz killed the Chex mix. It’s crazy to think yall have also become some of my biggest supporters and words can’t adequately describe the impact yall have had on my year. Thanks fam.

Of course with travel the diet and fitness goes to hell but a couple of Oreos here and there don’t compare to week long drinking binges so I definitely don’t hold it against myself. Up ahead comes the end of deadcember and the return of proper meal prepping so the temporary indulgence is allowed. Fuck it, it’s Christmas.

The new year is coming up way faster than i could’ve prepared for, and along with it comes all new milestones and challenges I’m not sure I’m ready for. Liz leaving for 9 months, the final curtain call in uniform, the big 365 sobriety mark, more BJJ competitions…pretty soon it’ll be here and the anticipation turns into execution. As much as I complain about holding patterns and unknowns, the idea that those will become daily occurrences is exciting and terrifying altogether. Do the next right thing, one day at a time, and thy will be done will get me from a to b like it has all year.

I’m surrounded by some dope ass people and I’m not sure where or how I’d be without the best support structure anyone could ask for. Hopefully this project has helped you in some way or even if it put you at ease to know i wasn’t cracked out somewhere, no worries homie don’t mention it i did it for me anyways. Merry early Christmas.

NFCWFH / IGY6 / 988 / SCW / 324