S2 E6: the storm

Man, didn’t want to write this one. Half considered just putting the blog down and moving away from it tbh. Look mental health is hard and it’s filled with a lot of ups and downs. When you’ve been doing your therapy and self-realization you begin to notice patterns that indicate progression or regression. Things like scrolling on your phone more than normal, not wanting to hop on the Xbox as much as you’ve been accustomed to. Simple signs progress to the more noticeable and degrading symptoms like missing the gym, missing meals, and eventually seeking solace in comfort stimuli…whatever your particular poison may be. The last week was a tough one. 

So Liz departed on her big trip and I’ve been faced with the not so fun realization that the job hunt has been far less productive than I’d imagined. Top that off with shitty weather and it’s just been a rough one to navigate. See normally noticing the first and second signs of a slump have been enough to right the ship and force myself back into an upward trajectory. Now the silence is deafening. It’s not all bad I suppose, I’m back to BJJ multiple times a week and I haven’t missed any lifts or meals. I’m keeping at the first warning sign and preventing a further slide to steps two-whatever so I’ve got that going for me which is nice.

February has a few things to look forward to. We just started the body composition challenge this week so for the next four weeks I’m looking at gaining muscle mass which means eating. The New York trip is in twoish weeks and that’s super exciting. Plus i got some tips on manipulating cover letters and resumes to be a little more successful on the hunt so hopefully we get a little more traction in that area.

Just goes to show that even in health and sobriety things aren’t always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it’s hard fucking work that you just have to gut out until it gets easier again. Give yourself a break this week, we all out here just grinding.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5a8SwDX6DQM8RG6jZv9bFV?si=d_KwhpLcSeWoW2tTOOzbDA

NFCWFH / IGY6 / 988 / SCW / 382

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