S2 E14: reasons and excuses

Let’s talk about the toxic side of humility. Much like Oreos, Diet Coke, and lemon pepper too much of a good thing is often a bad thing. In an excess of humility you start teetering towards a decrease in self esteem, almost to the point of self-abuse and antagonizing where you beat yourself bloody when you aren’t operating perfectly. I had a counselor once refer to this as “should-ing yourself” and “don’t should yourself in my office.” It’s funny but all too often i find myself in a bad way and then beating myself up because I’m in a bad way and not just getting over it and moving on. That brings me to the title, the delineation between excuses and reasons. See, constantly i find myself in a bad way. Whether I’ve hurt myself from excessive lifting or i woke up in an anxious downward spiral or the stressors have built up to paralysis by analysis, something like that results in me curling up on the couch alone in a ball and just trying to survive the day. It’s important in times like that to a) give yourself some grace and b) remember that David goggins is a genetic freak and not the mold or expectation. It is 100% ok to not be doing your best and take a rest day or give yourself a break. We are human and therefore not fuckin perfect. Sometimes a reason isn’t an excuse, sometimes it is a perfectly good reason to take a knee and recover. Drink some water. Change your socks.

Anywho, yeah things are things. Between the gym and BJJ i hurt all the time but find time to play cards with friends, celebrate others sobriety, and be productive around the house and online. Of note, getting back on the mats and training again is so fuckin good for mental health. Yeah, it’s intimidating and yeah, getting myself going in the morning is often a seemingly impossible chore but it’s some of the best exercise you can do and the mental and emotional benefits are unmatched.
I haven’t done a metric base check in in a while. My lifting maxes all jumped so now I’m using 235/285/395 (bench/squat/deadlift). As far as body composition I’ll likely get myself over to 5star this weekend to snag a measurement and update y’all for next week.

I don’t know why “it’s ok to not be ok” is great advice to give but I have an impossible time giving it to myself. I’m not sure why I’m overly critical of my shit, it perplexes me as to why i should myself into oblivion. Luckily, I’ve got you all to put me right. Fuckin, yesterday i had emergency dental work and couldn’t sleep the night previous. Sitting on the couch in the afternoon i knew i should’ve gone and trained BJJ but i was attached to the couch. Liz goes “you didn’t sleep and you got dental work this morning, don’t go. Obviously” like it’s something i should’ve seen, two very good reasons to abstain masquerading as a pity party excuse. Cut yourself some fucking slack folks, if you do it for others but not yourself you’re being hypocritical. Be your #1 fan, it’s a lot easier when you are.

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