S2 E17: in-tents action

Well, I’m 33 now. Thanks all for the happy birthdays and the gifts, I’ve equally spent my free time playing the shit out of assassins creed and sharpening my knives with the tumbler (which works, really fucking good, ask my thumb). As far as birthdays go it was pretty standard for the last few years, spent a lot of it with the dogs and a little with some buddies. I did do a pretty cool thing in taking a golf lesson…like a no bullshit appointment with a PGA pro giving me some cues and pointers in an effort to build an iron/wedge swing from the ground up. For one thing, my swing wasn’t too far away from the ideal swing and for the other my therapist thought it was really cool to invest in improving a hobby. My whole thing is if I can move the ball down the fairway better I’d probably like it more, thus going more. So yeah, been practicing the swing and it’s going well. Assassins creed shadows is straight fuckin gas too: you are a ninja or a samurai so either being sneaky like traditional AC or a brick shit house yeeting through dudes. What a game.

Another cool thing about April 21st is that it’s mine and Liz’ anniversary and we turned 8 this year. That’s a whole lotta years for her putting up with my shit and i don’t know if it says more about me or her. Seriously, yall should congratulate her on her patience 😂. Fun fact: year 8 on the traditional anniversary gift is bronze and she got me a bronze set of dice for like…D&D and magic and stuff. These things fucking rule, they are super intricate but also heavy as fuck proportional to their size. I got her a (can’t really say because she hasn’t gotten it yet) but she 100% won (gift giving isn’t a competition but if it was she deadass won).

The rest of the week was pretty routine but what wasn’t routine was I went camping for the first time in god knows when. It was with the troop i volunteer with and I was doing some OA stuff too but just pitching a tent and sleeping under the stars again (not in an army capacity) was such a crazy flashback to my childhood. It sorta served as a proof of concept, still need to buy a lighter tent if I plan on backpacking with everything but what a time to be alive. Oh and if anyone was wondering what’s east of Colorado Springs towards Kansas, the answer is nothing. Just fog and wind and nothing else.

I’ve had worse weeks, i only lifted 2/4 times i should’ve and then followed it up by not lifting yesterday. To be honest I’m slipping back into the place where doing what i ought to is hard. Getting up in the morning is getting harder and harder to like…you know…move. I think it’s due to soreness physically, but more so it’s a mental thing. A very common thread in this blog over the past year and a half (holy shit it’s been 16 months of this thing) is that mental health ebbs and flows and sometimes for no real reason at all. Sometimes the stressors are easily defeated and sometimes the weight is just unbearable and you crack. Well, I’m cracking rn, and that is ok. It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect and there is no expectation to be. It’s part of the whole “grant yourself grace” thing. It’s ok to not be ok.

I’ll be ok. I’m fighting like hell but I’m still doing the things i should be doing, the things that are good for me to do, and the bad times won’t last forever. In fact the end of the bad times are closer than i think because i got my separation from the army date today. Can you imagine, I’ve been stuck in limbo since September-ish of last year and i now currently have a date. Things are looking up, and the mental health aspect is sure to follow.

Yall see the debate about who would win between 100 dudes vs 1 gorilla? How the fuck can anyone in their right mind think the gorilla stands a chance? Unless it’s 100 but one at a time, that group is gonna swarm to the point that moving is difficult and the gorilla is gonna gas out. Are some humans going to Valhalla? Absolutely. I don’t know the exact amount of men it would take to win, but i know 100 will work.

Shit, I hope i find a job soon. With having a date nor finding a job becomes my last big stressor, and when that’s taken care of I’m gonna be dancing through life. See ya next week weirdos. ✌️ 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5a8SwDX6DQM8RG6jZv9bFV?si=d_KwhpLcSeWoW2tTOOzbDA

NFCWFH / IGY6 / 988 / SCW / 458 / YCKTD

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