Road to Right: Justin’s accountability tour

This entry is going to come off as super weird because I’m sitting in the airport after the New York trip…but that’s this week and this is for last week which means there isn’t shit to write on for last week. Truly it was just your standard week of making it day to day. You know staying on top of chores and the gym, eating food i already own while avoiding unnecessary expenses. Mainly it was “get through this week and you’re at the New York trip” so a lot of it was framed around that. Very much on brand with the week prior it was marred by a lot of unknowns and mysteries. No timelines, no job leads, just a whole lot of staying positive and keeping the faith. It’s really hard to stay positive and keep the faith in the face of uncertainty. After a while the smiling and waving and “no not yet but soons” just eat to your bones. The endless “thanks but no thanks” emails aren’t really helping the positivity either, but hey who knows, maybe it’s just an exercise in perseverance and the answer...

The grind never stops, and it’s currently keeping me sane. Sure, may have floundered for a bit that first week trying to figure out how I was going to manage but at this point i can confidently say “what the fuck is going on.” You know how periodically you get thrown an errant ball high and wide that you in no way were anticipating and it tests your adult ability to think on your feet and persevere? Why does it currently seem like the surprises are rolling in on a daily basis. Try to get the wife’s car fixed, the dealership can’t find the warranty and it’s been in the shop for the last week and a half. Finally get your work laptop set up just to find out it can’t run the software I need for my ongoing projects so i have to digital scrub my old personal laptop to make it work. Dogs got sick so I had to clean that up, weather turned so I’m freezing my ass off while driving, old bruised rib reared its head halfway through this bench program, rolled my ankle grocery shopping like come the ...

Man, didn’t want to write this one. Half considered just putting the blog down and moving away from it tbh. Look mental health is hard and it’s filled with a lot of ups and downs. When you’ve been doing your therapy and self-realization you begin to notice patterns that indicate progression or regression. Things like scrolling on your phone more than normal, not wanting to hop on the Xbox as much as you’ve been accustomed to. Simple signs progress to the more noticeable and degrading symptoms like missing the gym, missing meals, and eventually seeking solace in comfort stimuli…whatever your particular poison may be. The last week was a tough one.  So Liz departed on her big trip and I’ve been faced with the not so fun realization that the job hunt has been far less productive than I’d imagined. Top that off with shitty weather and it’s just been a rough one to navigate. See normally noticing the first and second signs of a slump have been enough to right the ship and force myself b...

Ok so i know im late on this entry. I’ve had it in mind to complete for the last three days but honestly ive been too wrapped up in other things that i stayed pretty distant from my phone. Sorry, will happen again im sure of it. This last week has been half on par with the battle rhythm and half relaxed and focused on stuff around the house. Started getting cold of some sort so have been mainlining DayQuil and avoiding BJJ cuz i don’t want to be that guy. But the horrors persist and so must I. The biggest departure from the grind has been spending more time around the house with Liz before her big trip which starts this week. It’s been a hell of a time, we finished painting the downstairs and have a bunch of cute shit on the walls…even our empty as fuck front room looks like a part of the house. Plus we did another game night with her friends and uno got violent as shit! Her leaving is going to suck but hey that’s the army for ya, just another opportunity to dig deep and stick to what ...